I met my partner more than 20 years ago in internet, no, not in a dating site, but in a leftwing online forum in Chile. We were the only people who criticized the Cuban dictatorship. I had no idea what she looked like nor did she know what I look like. We became allies in the forum: I liked her critical and contrarian stance, but I did not meet her personally for a long time, maybe a year, and even then we just became friendly, without any romantic interaction. 20 years ago we started a relationship which still functions.
I've found connections via the internet that I never would have any other way. I met my ex-husband that way as well, though that was through a local forum and we were able to meet pretty quickly and hit it off in person. The other connections I've made have been more distant. I don't feel that they're superficial, just kind of impossible logistically.
I suppose that it all depends on what you mean by 'online relationships'. Epistolary relationships have existed for quite a long time, and email is not that different from posting a letter except that it is faster and easier. As a university professor, I maintain relationships with colleagues from all over the world, and the internet/email has made those relationships much easier in many ways.
If you are talking about romantic or erotic relationships, blind dates pre-date the internet, but, of course, the internet broadens the possibilities of finding someone. I'm dubious about the dating sites, but, as exemplified by one of your interlocutors, people do seem to find copacetic companions on the web.
The anonymity that the internet offers certainly increases the possibility of being misled or defrauded by others on the net, but it also offers bored people a chance to talk to random strangers.
By the way, I don't want to be too pedantic but 'mockingbird' is one word.
Very interesting and thoughtful. I think it's important to remember that there is usually another side of the story.
Every advance brings with it the opportunity for people to misuse it, forget about technology for a moment, even the humble pencil can be used to write a blackmail note.
Jeremy, thank you for resurrecting this. This is just the kind of thoughtful and thought provoking writing I hoped to find on Substack. You and I had a pleasant conversation by email a long time ago when I was subscribing to The Philosopher Magazine.
I met my partner more than 20 years ago in internet, no, not in a dating site, but in a leftwing online forum in Chile. We were the only people who criticized the Cuban dictatorship. I had no idea what she looked like nor did she know what I look like. We became allies in the forum: I liked her critical and contrarian stance, but I did not meet her personally for a long time, maybe a year, and even then we just became friendly, without any romantic interaction. 20 years ago we started a relationship which still functions.
I've found connections via the internet that I never would have any other way. I met my ex-husband that way as well, though that was through a local forum and we were able to meet pretty quickly and hit it off in person. The other connections I've made have been more distant. I don't feel that they're superficial, just kind of impossible logistically.
I suppose that it all depends on what you mean by 'online relationships'. Epistolary relationships have existed for quite a long time, and email is not that different from posting a letter except that it is faster and easier. As a university professor, I maintain relationships with colleagues from all over the world, and the internet/email has made those relationships much easier in many ways.
If you are talking about romantic or erotic relationships, blind dates pre-date the internet, but, of course, the internet broadens the possibilities of finding someone. I'm dubious about the dating sites, but, as exemplified by one of your interlocutors, people do seem to find copacetic companions on the web.
The anonymity that the internet offers certainly increases the possibility of being misled or defrauded by others on the net, but it also offers bored people a chance to talk to random strangers.
By the way, I don't want to be too pedantic but 'mockingbird' is one word.
Very interesting and thoughtful. I think it's important to remember that there is usually another side of the story.
Every advance brings with it the opportunity for people to misuse it, forget about technology for a moment, even the humble pencil can be used to write a blackmail note.
Jeremy, thank you for resurrecting this. This is just the kind of thoughtful and thought provoking writing I hoped to find on Substack. You and I had a pleasant conversation by email a long time ago when I was subscribing to The Philosopher Magazine.