I must admit that I agree with Russell about what he calls 'fascinators.' As a straight female this is what I find attractive in men: the passion for things other than me, and the fleeting changes of mood are interesting to me. Like gifts they bring for my enjoyment. It makes me want to reciprocate.
Also, the disinterest in women, generally speaking. I don't find constant competition very appealing. They should want me, not just any female. Call it selfish, but I don't see the point otherwise. It's very lonely being in a bad, or even mediocre, relationship.
Which brings me to the other Russell thing you posted about how he decided he no longer wanted to be married to Alys. Wouldn't honesty be preferable to a slow disintegration of their relationship? That is also a very painful process and seriously damaging to both parties. Better to set someone free and let them look elsewhere and do the same yourself.
I don't know, maybe I'm weird. At least I'm not weird like Schopenhauer. That's some truly neurotic stuff there.
I think your point about honesty vis-a-vis Russell and Alys is the strongest that can be made in his defence. But in the context of a Victorian marriage - and what a separation would mean for a woman back then - there is something to be said for constancy of feeling, and for trying to avoid sudden epiphanies while you're riding a bike. Ultimately, one's heart wants what it wants, but Russell was a little too inclined to follow the dictats of another part of his body and to see Alys as an convenience to be cast off when he grew tired of her. It's the casualness of it all...
But you're right about honesty. It's a strong point.
I've read a bit more about Russell's long history with women, and it struck me that he was very much an early feminist. Perhaps he gave more credit to Alys' strength than he should have, but it seems unlikely--she had a life after him, supposedly even having an intimate relationship with Walt Whitman and participating in active suffragism. His later wives seem to have held their own also, and one left him.
Maybe I'm giving him too much credit. But, anyone who has ever divorced has probably felt like a heel. I have sometimes, even though we have remained friends and both of us are doing pretty well. If we had remained married there would have been recriminations and petty digs and the long unraveling of everything that made us like each other in the beginning. My heart hurts just thinking about it. Quick is better. I feel like I should mention that he is very well off, having a great job as a software engineer for a very large company, and I am not. But at all times I was aware that the idea that I would stay in a marriage for material comfort made me feel dead inside--that is not who I am.
One wonders what Hegel would claim.
(Considering the ‘trans’ zeitgeist et al.)
I must admit that I agree with Russell about what he calls 'fascinators.' As a straight female this is what I find attractive in men: the passion for things other than me, and the fleeting changes of mood are interesting to me. Like gifts they bring for my enjoyment. It makes me want to reciprocate.
Also, the disinterest in women, generally speaking. I don't find constant competition very appealing. They should want me, not just any female. Call it selfish, but I don't see the point otherwise. It's very lonely being in a bad, or even mediocre, relationship.
Which brings me to the other Russell thing you posted about how he decided he no longer wanted to be married to Alys. Wouldn't honesty be preferable to a slow disintegration of their relationship? That is also a very painful process and seriously damaging to both parties. Better to set someone free and let them look elsewhere and do the same yourself.
I don't know, maybe I'm weird. At least I'm not weird like Schopenhauer. That's some truly neurotic stuff there.
I think your point about honesty vis-a-vis Russell and Alys is the strongest that can be made in his defence. But in the context of a Victorian marriage - and what a separation would mean for a woman back then - there is something to be said for constancy of feeling, and for trying to avoid sudden epiphanies while you're riding a bike. Ultimately, one's heart wants what it wants, but Russell was a little too inclined to follow the dictats of another part of his body and to see Alys as an convenience to be cast off when he grew tired of her. It's the casualness of it all...
But you're right about honesty. It's a strong point.
I've read a bit more about Russell's long history with women, and it struck me that he was very much an early feminist. Perhaps he gave more credit to Alys' strength than he should have, but it seems unlikely--she had a life after him, supposedly even having an intimate relationship with Walt Whitman and participating in active suffragism. His later wives seem to have held their own also, and one left him.
Maybe I'm giving him too much credit. But, anyone who has ever divorced has probably felt like a heel. I have sometimes, even though we have remained friends and both of us are doing pretty well. If we had remained married there would have been recriminations and petty digs and the long unraveling of everything that made us like each other in the beginning. My heart hurts just thinking about it. Quick is better. I feel like I should mention that he is very well off, having a great job as a software engineer for a very large company, and I am not. But at all times I was aware that the idea that I would stay in a marriage for material comfort made me feel dead inside--that is not who I am.